Matt Sells Nissan

02/12/2014

(To the tune of 'Im' too sexy by Right Said Fred) ....1..2..3.. and here we go! Aaaaaiiimmmm too sexy for my Qashqai.....too sexy for my Qashqai.......so sexy iiit huuuuuurrrrttsss......Aaaimm a salesman (Vehicle Lifestyle Advisor) you know what Aai mean and I doo my little turn in the showroom......in the showroom......in the showroom yeah Aai sell (Advise) my little cars (Lifestyle Enhancers) in the showroom.......and aaaaaiiimmm too sexy for this post.

21/11/2014

Loneleeeeeee, I'm so loneleeeeeee......nobody want tooooo...come to see meeeeeee.......if youuuu... have lots of moneeeeeeyyyy....if you see meeee....I sell you (Nissan) wheeleeeeee.......and run all the......... way to bankeeeeeee

11/11/2014

I test drove the new Datsun. It's cheap...oops...AFFORDABLE so I wanted to see what you get for your money so; I took it to 160km/hr, I handbraked turned it, did the odd donut, ramped it and even hit a pothole at a certain speed (enough to say 'ouch'). I then took it to the workshop for inspection AND NO PROBLEMS! WHAT A CAR! WHAT A SALESMAN! WHAT ALOTTA TROUBLE I GOT INTO!

05/11/2014

Awesome opportunity for all 3 of you in the market for a half tonne bakkie (pick up or ute for all my Irish friends/contacts/observers). NP200 price has been slashed by R18000 so pop in to Thompson Motors Shelly for cheap talk with words like 'body' and 'mirrors' and 'rubber' and 'performance' and 'loadbearing' and ...you know....cars and stuff. Speak to Matt. When it comes to NP200s his talk is cheap. I can't believe I write this stuff. And even worse is you're actually reading it.

24/10/2014

So we have all these fantastic big, posh vehicles on display and what steals the show?....the Datsun GO. On top of it the sound that comes from the sound system is awesome. If you're at South Coast Mall tomorrow, chat to Sean (he's the one with the muscles). So sorry to disappoint but I won't be on duty (I'm the one with the short legs and arms and torso)

24/10/2014

Great news! Thompson Motors are hanging their sales guys (and gals) out to dry and get a bit of sunshine at the South Coast Mall all day. Get them early while they're all excited, bright eyed and bushy tailed. On display will be the new Quashqai (finalist in 2015 car of the year), The awesome new X-Trail and of course, the new Datsun GO at R89900. Fiat, Alpha Romeo and Renault included. Refreshments will be served however no drinking or eating in the cars as that's just plain naughty.

23/10/2014

11 finalists for 2015 car of the year include the Nissan Qashqai 1.6 DCI Acenta Auto and Renault Duster 1.5 DCI Dynamique 4WD and I, yes I, you'll be thrilled to know, represent both brands. Isn't that the best news ever?! Doesn't that just make you wanna phone me and hear all about it? If not, I'll re-post this for maximum subliminal impact....ooooohhhh

23/10/2014

Why is it the other sales guys get to test drive vehicles with pretty girls and I get 4 big black guys all crammed into a little 1.2....the new Datsun GO (Price R89900)? If anyone's interested the car handled exceptionally well especially when I saw cops up ahead and did a very quick U-turn at respectable speed (4.6m turning circle). Needless to say, after my passengers got over kakking themselves, they were VERY impressed. As was I.

20/10/2014

A true test of a person's character is not how he/she/it handles adversity but how he/she/it handles POWER. So pop along to Thompson Motors and test drive the new Nissan X-Trail to see just what type of character you really are and whether you really are a he, she or it....or tidbit....or bitofatit...or

14/10/2014

14/10/2014

I got dressed up all dead posh in the hope of driving the new QashQai or new X-trail around but they gave me a Micra for today. I probably make the Micra look all roomy on account of my natural affinity to not take up much space. All not lost. Micra has tight turning circle so can make quick U-turn when road blocks ahead hee hee. Did you know that out of 64 vehicles tested across 8 categories, the Micra came out tops...riveting stuff hey? I've become the ultimate dinner conversationalist.

10/10/2014

How I sold my first car yesterday, a Nissan NP200 bakkie, I do not know. Forgot all the sales speak so went into stealth mode by kicking the tyres, commenting on the beautiful shade of white and pointing out the big space in the back (common in bakkies it would seem). But after a test drive and doing manly things like popping the hood to make sure the engine's still there, it was a done deal. This methinks is going to be fun.