09/13/2025
The Motor Cop
He writes tickets to everybody and thinks all chicks love him. He learned to write his quota, in other words “daily goals,” of 10 tickets by 9 am. He starts his day at 5am from his garage in a neighboring city while the motorcycle is on, essentially screaming over the radio that he is “in-service.” This sends a jolt of adrenaline to the sleepy graveyard officers who think they just heard an “Officer Needs Assistance-Emergency” call. He annoys the crap out of everyone else on the radio by having complete disregard for anyone else’s radio traffic by broadcasting traffic stops and running plates.
Breakfast is at 7am, by 10am his “goals” are met so he can screw off the rest of the day. 10am is the first workout. Lunch at 12:30pm. 2nd workout at 2pm then it’s off duty at 3pm.
“Training rides” to towns a hundred miles away while posing for cheesy pictures at important monuments.
During his shift you can find him riding by offices with mirrored windows so he can check him self out. He does this several times a day and often gets aroused by his own reflection. He refers to the degenerate Patrol Cops as “Car Cops.” ie “Can I get a car cop to my traffic stop? She wants to report a 3 week old property crime!”
If violators were “Adam Henrys” he would add a circle with a dot in the center in his notes to remind him later, if he went to court, of the person’s demeanor
Upon graduation from Motorcycle School, he got the coveted “LBR” tattoo (“Look Bitchin’ Riding”) or the “Motor Wings and Wheel” on the small of his back.