01/09/2026
Good morning.. is what you would say if your eyes didn't break open in the dead of night while your little bit of consciousness scrambled to rationalize why you aren't hearing your alarm.
You lay there in hopes of quickly falling back asleep but your bladder is screaming at you for the singular milliliter of water you sipped on 5 hours prior to this very moment in time.
Using only techniques you learned from watching the blind mice in Shrek circa de 2001, you carefully get up and walk to the bathroom. All while not opening your eyes too much so you don't lose too much tiredness.
Making your way back to your bed your fomo hits you like a ton of bricks.
"Did anyone message me? What if there's an emergency? What if that one very specific text or email I've been waiting for finally got to me between the very reasonable hours of 10pm-3am?"
Now that you're adapted to seeing in the dark you find your phone way easier than finding the door handle to the bathroom.
You check your phone and the only notifications are marketing emails. Whatever.
You figure, "since I'm already on my phone I guess I will check Facebook"
So you open the app and you see Ronin Auto Spa posting some ridiculously clean car you've seen in traffic maybe once and think to yourself in your drunken slumber,
"hell yeah"
Now that you are filled with good content and an empty bladder you fall back asleep peacefully.
And sleep great before it's time to get up.
So after all, it ended up being a good morning ☀️
