10/14/2026
🚨 WANTED: THE DEAD BATTERY 🚨
Last seen leaving someone stranded in a Walmart parking lot.
Known aliases:
• “It just needs a jump.”
• “It was fine yesterday.”
• “I'll replace it later.”
⚠️ Approach with jumper cables. ⚠
Or better yet, come see us before it gets you! 🔋