05/29/2026
🚨 PRESS RELEASE 🚨
After a lengthy investigation, authorities have officially arrested me for:
• Taking care of my customers too well
• Providing top-tier shine services
• Making people laugh way too hard
Witnesses say the vibes were “suspiciously amazing.”
Charges include:
✔️ Excessive customer satisfaction
✔️ Illegal levels of clean work
✔️ Disturbing the public with nonstop laughter
Court date pending… but until then, business remains OPEN 😎
To book your next shine:
📞 Call or text
🌐 Visit www.agwshine.com