04/26/2023
"My journey to sobriety initially started in May of this year. I went one month, alcohol free, and then decided to have a drink. I told myself, “it’s ok now that I am in control, and it’s not that big of a deal if I drink in extreme moderation.” From May until mid-August I had only drank maybe five times. When normally, I’d pour at least a glass of wine or two every evening. Let me tell you, when you go one month of cleansing your body and you attempt to reintroduce alcohol back into your system, you deal with the negative effects. For me, at least, it was as though my body was rejecting the poison I was putting in my body. One or two drinks alone was enough to give me a headache, brain fog, anxiety, or sleep problems. It was then I realized “extreme moderation” simply wasn’t worth it. Alcohol was a big part of my life since I was 21. Alcohol was there for me when I felt insecure and needed a boost of self-esteem. Alcohol was there for me in social settings where I felt anxious and needed “liquid courage.” Alcohol was there for me when I was angry and needed to be mellowed out. Alcohol was there for me when I was sad and needed to numb my feelings. Alcohol was there for me on birthdays/celebrations so I could feel rewarded. Basically, alcohol was my best friend throughout all these years. What I failed to realize, though, was just how toxic this friend was to me. And how manipulative she was… Instead of really being there for me, and helping me get better, in reality she made things worse. She didn’t allow me to be my true authentic self. She manipulated me into making me believe I NEEDED her all this time. Breaking up with alcohol wasn’t easy at first, however I can now say I finally feel free. Throughout this journey of sobriety I have gotten to know myself better. I have a clear mind, and am able to process things better. My feelings, well, rather than numb them, I FEEL them. I have a newfound confidence and I am so damn proud of how far I’ve come."
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