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Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode thirteen, luckily. Bit of a wandering one today, let’s talk VHCs, brakes, u...
06/09/2026

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode thirteen, luckily.

Bit of a wandering one today, let’s talk VHCs, brakes, upselling, and probably something else that I haven’t thought of yet.

We had a call this week from a guy, let’s call him Mr Benz, he’d been somewhere else for some work, they’d carried out a vehicle health check, and identified some extra work needed, nothing wrong with that.

Mr B was just ringing round to make sure their price was realistic, again, nothing wrong there.

The work identified was new brake pads and discs, and they’d even provided him with the measurements to prove their findings, pads about 3mm, discs 35mm.

Mr B is quite switched on, and did a little research, his discs are only 36mm thick when new, and minimum thickness is 34mm. His annual mileage, as this is his second car, is only around 3000 miles.

Now the other garage has done nothing wrong in their advisories, however they could have done a little research into customer profile and parts pricing.

We offered him two alternatives -
Non-genuine, tier one supplier, pads fitted onto his existing discs, as technically they’re only half worn.
Or
Genuine Mercedes discs and pads, as the genuine discs were cheaper than aftermarket, making up for the more expensive genuine pads.

But here’s the thing, we pointed out that with his driving habits, which we’d confirmed by looking back through his vehicle history, neither was required within the next six months.

He thanked us for our honesty, and promised to be in touch when ready.

We gained a customer by not upselling.

Now I have a thing about VHCs, I think they’re the most abused things in the motor industry, and responsible for quite a lot of the bad feelings that occur towards garages.

They used to be just a main dealer thing, but with most garages using advanced garage management systems, they’re now prolific.

A VHC done properly requires about 20 minutes of time, per car. If you do them for free, then you’ve got several hours of unpaid time to recoup.

We’re all in business to make a profit, but I regularly see garages being advised to use VHCs to boost their bottom line.

It’s not for me.

I’m not pressuring or rewarding my staff for finding extra work. If it needs doing, we’ll tell you; if it’s not urgent, we’ll tell you; if it doesn’t need doing, we’ll tell you that too.

This post is probably going to rile many garage owners; you never know, they might even make me an outcast. I’m not that fussed; I’m off on holiday next week, so sod ‘em, I’ll probably not have any internet coverage and certainly no phone service.

VHC = vehicle health check.

As an add-on to this post, I’ll give a £50 donation to Ben, the motor trade charity, for the first mention of the phrase “duty of care” by a disgruntled garage owner.

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode twelve (probably five more than I was expecting to do). Should the governme...
30/08/2026

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode twelve (probably five more than I was expecting to do).

Should the government choose what car you drive?

Car manufacturers are having a rough time, and they’re asking the government to relax upcoming regulations to give them a chance to catch up.

Euro 7 emissions targets are set to start this November. For the first time, EVs are set to be included. Particulate emissions from both tyres and brakes will become part of the emissions measured on new cars.

Petrol and diesel vehicles will not only have tighter emissions limits but will also have to comply with regulations for a minimum of ten years.

Ten years.

Do you know how many emissions components get replaced in the first ten years of a vehicle’s life?
So are the government saying these now have to be warrantied for ten years?
Certainly sounds like it.

However, the manufacturers aren’t going to like this, and they’re going to be looking for ways out of it.
Didn’t use the correct oil on a service, that’ll affect the emissions, and therefore null the warranty on emissions equipment. Same goes for any engine parts fitted, if that sensor doesn’t match the oe perfectly (with proven testing), then kiss goodbye to any help with the enormously complicated and expensive emission system.

When a manufacturer sells you a petrol or diesel car, they’re putting themselves at financial risk for the next ten years.

Let’s not forget that we’ve signed up to the 2030 EV mandate, 80% zero emissions, 20% hybrids by this time.

Can it be done?

With a mixture of carrot and stick, possibly.

Use the taxpayers’ cash to subsidise EVs, raise cash by punishing petrol and diesel drivers.

But that means the government choosing what you drive.

How much do you trust politicians?

25/08/2026

The workshop today shows both ends of how the trade is changing.

From a cylinder head gasket replacement on a petrol Corsa, to a HV battery removal on a Jaguar, to repair the high voltage coolant heater.

A true demonstration of the skills required of the modern technician.

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode eleven. Never ask a mechanic what car to buy…I’ve reached that time when th...
23/08/2026

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode eleven.

Never ask a mechanic what car to buy…

I’ve reached that time when the midlife crisis is calling and I ought to buy myself a sports car. The obvious solution would be to buy a Porsche 911 to make me more appealing to the younger ladies (Mrs Y is starting to show her age lately…). But I refuse to buy a car that they never bothered to put the engine in the right place.

A YouTuber recently said to buy a sports car with a manual gearbox as an investment, and another, much wiser, man said just buy something with a throttle cable, as it will have less electronics, so what are the options…

I quite fancy a Morgan, but then I’d have to buy a flat cap and keep explaining that it doesn’t have a wooden chassis, so that’s off the list.

We can lump anything Italian or made by Jaguar into a group of things that will constantly be broken. I’m not that keen on fixing other people’s cars, so fixing my own is a no-no.

A Mazda MX5 is everything the MGB should have become, but there’s already one and two-halves in the family, and they just don’t provide the gentleman fizz… Same for the MGF.

I can’t have anything electric… because, just no.

Now eBay has obviously been reading my thoughts, and up popped a 1973 Lotus Elan +2 with a spider chassis and a Ford Zetec engine conversion.

Makes me sound a bit sad, but this is the thing of dreams. Classic British style with modern running gear.

Half of me thinks it’s too expensive, but the other half knows it would cost me double to build one, so it’s a bargain, right?

So if you’re driving past the garage one day and you see a pale blue Lotus Elan parked outside, be assured there’ll be a poor mechanic inside, in the middle of a messy divorce… If there’s a grey Volvo estate, then all’s well.

In answer to what should YOU buy… Get a Honda or a Toyota, doesn’t matter which one, they never go wrong. If you ignore this advice, just pick something with comfy seats, you’ll appreciate them while you’re waiting for recovery.

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode ten. I’m old-fashioned, in the way I treat people and the way I treat their...
16/08/2026

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode ten.

I’m old-fashioned, in the way I treat people and the way I treat their cars.

I make no apologies for it; it was the way I was raised, but it brings me to today’s moan… when is a full service not a full service?

I’ve said it before, we’re not the cheapest garage, by a long way. I never grew up thinking “one day I’ll run the cheapest business in town”, but when pricing up services, it’s important to compare like for like.

There is no industry standard for what should be included in a service. Manufacturers’ services are easy; they list every item, when it should be changed, and how long it should take. Short, interim, and full services are different.

While my mind is wandering, let’s talk about what they’re called. Short , medium, full….. bronze, silver, gold, even platinum…. It’s all just made-up words. I assume Platinum is supposed to sound really expensive 🤷‍♂️.

I’ve seen full services advertised for £99.
Honestly, I can’t even buy the oil for some cars for that amount, so what are you likely to get for your money?

Back to me being old-fashioned…. I believe a full service should be just that, everything included. We do the spark plugs, we do the fuel filter, we even strip the brakes.
We charge 2.5 hours, and we use all of that time.

The modern way of doing things makes a full service 1-1.5 hrs, then everything else is extras. Your brakes need attention, extra, your fuel filter is done, extra…. And so on.

If you ring us for a price, we’ll have to work it out and ring you back. Every service price is unique to your car; we don’t do fixed-price servicing.

Why? Because the price variation car to car on oils and filters to too big to average out. There will always be a loser, either customer or garage, in fixed-price servicing, and you can guarantee it won’t be the garage; savings will have to be made somewhere.

The only place fixed-price servicing can work is a single-make vehicle specialist.

So next time you’re pricing up a service, just check what you’re getting for your money; there is a difference between cost and value.

Do you ever feel like you’re being watched at work….
15/08/2026

Do you ever feel like you’re being watched at work….

09/08/2026

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode nine.

This is about the time I get bored of writing these; all my frustrations have been vented, and my blood pressure has dropped to the point the nurse doesn’t keep tapping the meter, then asking if I want to lie down.

But there’s one more thing….

I’ve done it a couple of years ago, but it hasn’t got any better; in some ways, it’s gotten worse…..

Customer-supplied parts.

And we’ll throw second-hand parts into the mix for good measure.

I can give you several reasons why we don’t fit them…

🔵 Insurance. We are required to have several million pounds worth of coverage for when things go t**s up. One of the things they insist on is a paper trail of where all our parts came from, so they can follow back the blame trail and pin it on someone else.

🔵 There’s a lot of fakes out there. You wouldn’t believe it, but fake car parts are big business. When you buy from an unknown, online retailer, you literally don’t know what you’re getting in the box.

And finally, and the one point I absolutely refuse to apologise for enforcing…

🔵 It’s just bad manners to supply your own parts. I’m here to run a business, and that business has to make a profit (damn, he actually used the P word). Part of that profit comes from our markup on the parts we sell. It actually pays the wages of the people who answer the phones and deal with those unpleasant-looking things that clutter up reception…. Customers.

Steak is cheaper to buy in a supermarket, but you wouldn’t take it into a restaurant and ask them to slap it on the grill for you.
Beer is also cheaper than in the pub, but what do you think their response would be if you asked to borrow a glass to pour out your own can….. exactly.

It’s just downright rude.

Now you might say it’s just me being a sensitive little soul, but the ordinarily, exceptionally polite Mrs Y has also taken offence.

The latest round of phone calls into the office has been from people who’ve bought their own components that are electronically component protected, so they need dealer equipment to remove this before they will work. Her question when someone enquires about this is… “Why did you buy it yourself if you weren’t able to programme it?”
Blunt but true.

There are, of course, exceptions to any rule. Certain customers (it’s single-digit numbers) are exempt. Certain vehicles, particularly old or rare, are also exempt. But even this comes back to bite me on the ass occasionally.

If I diagnosed a heater control panel to be faulty, how many second-hand ones do you think I would need before I got one that worked?
How much do you think I would doubt my own diagnosis after the second panel didn’t work?
How many times do you think I would go back over my own work to see what I’d done wrong?

In short, let us sort your parts. We’ll choose a quality brand at the best price available to us, and we’ll pass any savings on to you.

As 26,000 of you actually read last week’s post, I’ll do my best for another next week, but no promises.

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode eightish. Courtesy cars….We supply courtesy cars, for free. If they weren’t...
02/08/2026

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic episode eightish.

Courtesy cars….

We supply courtesy cars, for free.
If they weren’t free we’d call them hire cars, and that brings a whole host of other issues with it.

All we ask is that you put some fuel in, it’s not a lot to ask, is it?

Rant incoming…..

Apparently that is a lot to ask.

“I’ve only gone home and back…”
Did you push it there? No you didn’t, you used the fuel and didn’t put any in. And you know what, the next ten people will probably do the same, then the tank will be empty and the warning light will be on, and person number eleven will be faced with playing fuel roulette as to wether they’ll make it to the fuel station.

Or I’ll have to put some fuel in, and I’ve made it known in the past how much I enjoy that.

The new van for customers to use is fully electric, so will be charged before it goes out, but it still has one issue, the charging cable. A replacement cable, from Mercedes is about £500 and is easy to “lose”. We’ve managed to “lose” every parcel shelf from all of the cars, and they’re much harder to misplace. So the cable will only be supplied on request.

We try to keep them clean and well serviced. But occasionally they can be in and out without us having the chance to give them a clean and a going over. If you experience any unusual noises or warning lamps while driving one, just let us know, we’ll take it out of service until it’s fixed.
Only last week, the little blue Skoda had an airbag warning lamp pop on, now I’m £500 less well off, but it has a shiny new airbag ecu that no one will ever see.

Basically they’re there to get you to where you need to be, while we take care of your car. They’re not meant to be sporty or luxurious, let’s call them utilitarian.

If you need something bigger, there’s a bus stop across the road, stand there for half an hour and something larger will be along in due course.

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic… Episode….. something after six, I’m sure I’ve not done eight yet, so we’ll call it...
26/07/2026

Weekend musings of a grumpy mechanic… Episode….. something after six, I’m sure I’ve not done eight yet, so we’ll call it seven.

It was originally going to be about courtesy cars, but I’d had a drink, and it was starting to sound a bit too ranty. I’ll rewrite that one when I can see straight!

Today’s topic is customer rankings.

This idea comes from a presentation I saw a few years ago by another garage owner, Mick Shaikly.

It’s exactly as it sounds. We rate our customers on an A–D scale based on their loyalty, attitude, and willingness to recommend us to others.

A – Awesome – Loyal, profitable, and happy to recommend us.
B – Back Again – Regular customers who are a pleasure to deal with.
C – Could Improve – Occasional or price-driven customers. We usually only see them for an MOT once a year.
D – Drain – Customers who consume more time, money, and energy than they return.

The higher your rating, the more benefits you get, including quicker access to the workshop (except for diagnostic work… that’s my fault. I’m so far behind!).

We’re incredibly lucky that around 95% of our customers fall into the A or B categories, and we genuinely appreciate every one of you.

So, the next time you’re rating your garage, just remember… they might be rating you too!

Footnote: This is, of course, a light-hearted summary and should be read with the same sense of humour in which it was written.

Address

34 Kirkby Folly Road
Sutton In Ashfield
NG175HN

Opening Hours

Monday 8:30am - 5:15pm
Tuesday 8:30am - 5:15pm
Wednesday 8:30am - 5:15pm
Thursday 8:30am - 5:15pm
Friday 8:30am - 5:15pm

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