08/10/2025
Below is a message written to another instructor from a heartbroken, grieving parent. I’ve changed the names, however, in the parent’s message, despite having to deal with the loss of a child, they wanted to spread the message far and wide to increase awareness to young drivers, new drivers and experienced drivers.
Please read it with care and compassion.
If you have never lost someone you love, scroll on.
This is R’s story.
R turned 17 on January last year and passed his driving test not long after .
He had grown up around vehicles and spent weekends helping his dad at work.
He was a natural driver, confident and calm behind the wheel.
R had ADHD but that never defined him.
He was bright, loyal, funny and hard working.
He loved his family, his job, music and gaming.
He rarely went out and was happy being at home.
He did not drink, smoke or use his phone while driving.
He was careful and sensible, a genuinely good young man.
💞 Like many new drivers R was still learning on the road.
💞 He had a Motability car but no black box fitted, something his mum now wishes had been different
💞He always wore his seat belt and took pride in being responsible.
Then one night everything changed.
After giving friends a lift home, R was driving on a dark rural road he did not know.
There were no street lights and no clear warning signs.
He missed the give way, tried to correct it and took the full impact himself saving his two passengers.
He was only 18 years old.
The car was so badly burnt there was no evidence ..
His story gets worse though as the police removed the car and opened the road and went home.
A few days later while laying flowers at the crash scene, his mother found parts of his body left there. Can you imagine what that must have been like for her?
She was so lost and broken, so many questions…..completely distraught and inconsolable.
R didn't have enough road experience and taught himself his road experience.
His mother wishes he had had more lessons, and not be allowed to drive at night, or carry passengers.
Other fatal crashes had already happened on that same road but nothing has changed.
How many lives need to be lost before action is taken for dangers on a road?
R’s mum shared her story because she wants to make a difference.
For safer roads.
For more awareness.
For better protection for young drivers who may not yet have the experience to recognise every danger.
Please remember
✋ Confidence is not the same as experience.
✋ Speed limits are not targets.
✋ Road safety is not just about rules, it is about lives.
Forever remembered
R. J. D.
**.01.2007 – **.03.2025
Please share and tag your friends in to raise awareness ..
For any parents reading this, it’s not about the least amount of lessons to scrape through passing a driving test, or gloating it only took you ‘x’ amount of hours to pass yours and moaning about how much money it’s costing.
It’s a serious parental responsibility, emotional and financial commitment and investment in enabling your child to develop the skills required to be competent, confident, capable and considerate driver…. for life…. Not a tick box to do the bare minimum to pass a driving test as a ‘show’ for an examiner.
Learning to drive is a serious commitment needed from a learner and positive support to help them accomplish their end goal.
