09/19/2026
🦍 FINALLY, YOUR WIFE CAN GET SOMETHING BIG, BLACK & SEXY.
Relax, big guy.
It's an Expedition.
A $99,850 Expedition.
So you're still screwed. 😂
But look at it...
Seriously.
LOOK AT IT!
This is the completely redesigned 2025 Ford Expedition Platinum MAX with the $12,000 Stealth Package.
And it has...
Every. Single. Option.
Ford didn't check some boxes.
They checked ALL THE DAMN BOXES.
2025 Ford Expedition Platinum MAX
🖤 33,122 kms
🖤 $12,000 Stealth Package
🖤 Black on black on black
🖤 Bang & Olufsen premium sound system
🖤 22" Baller status factory rims
This is basically the Secret Service school-drop-off package.
Pull up.
Doors open.
Kids deploy.
Mom leaves.
Other moms reconsider their life choices.
😮💨
And before someone says:
"$99,850 FOR AN EXPEDITION?!"
Oh, sweetie.
Go price the competition.
Escalade ESV: ~$140,000
Yukon XL Denali: ~$130,000
This Platinum MAX: $99,850
Suddenly Daddy's looking like a financial genius.
"Honey, I SAVED us $40,000."
That's how we're presenting this.
Stick to the script. 🤝
The completely redesigned Platinum has officially entered full-blown luxury SUV territory.
Except instead of spending another $30K–$40K for the badge...
You can spend that money on something sensible.
Like your mortgage.
Vacations.
Or a boat.
Definitely the boat.
💰 Flexible payment options
🔄 All trades accepted
🚚 Canada-wide delivery
📲 Easy online process
Looking for cheap?
Wrong SUV.
Looking for subtle?
Definitely wrong SUV.
Want your wife and kids looking super bad ass?
Now we're talking.
📩 Ladies: send this to your husband and say nothing.
📩 Husbands: message us before she finds the Escalade listing. 😂