13/07/2026
I probably owe a few of my customers an explanation⌠and maybe an apology too.
Because lately, if youâve tried to call or message me, thereâs a fair chance Iâve been fu**ing terrible at getting back to you đ¤Śââď¸đ
And I need you to know itâs not because I donât give a s**t.
Iâve been thinking about posting this for a while now and honestly I keep typing it then deleting it because I donât really know how to say what Iâm trying to say đ
But I feel like I need to explain myself a little bit.
Iâll read a message and think yep, Iâll reply to that in a minute⌠then next minute itâs 3 days later and I suddenly remember it at 2am đ¤Śââď¸ Or Iâll tell someone Iâll call them back and genuinely mean it, then apparently my brain just completely deletes that information đ
And honestly, the guilt I feel about it is horrible.
Because I donât want anyone thinking Iâm ignoring them, that I donât care about their car or that I donât appreciate their business.
For anyone who doesnât know, earlier this year at 38 years old I was diagnosed with Stage 4 metastatic breast cancer.
Still feels so weird writing that if Iâm honest.
Iâm on treatment to keep the cancer under control and keep me here for as long as possible. And before anyone panics đ Iâm still here, Iâm still working and Iâm not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.
But I think Iâve probably been pretending Iâm handling treatment better than I actually am.
Some days it absolutely kicks the s**t out of me.
The fatigue is insane and itâs hard to explain because itâs not just being tired. Iâve worked stupid hours my entire life â I know what tired is đ
This is different.
Sometimes my whole body feels heavy and my brain feels like itâs running about 3 business days behind the rest of me.
Then there are nights where I canât sleep because my brain wonât shut the (beep) up. Iâll lay there thinking about the business, customers, cars I need to finish, messages I havenât replied to, cancer, treatment, life⌠then get up the next morning, go to work and try to pretend everything is completely normal đ
And Iâm starting to realise I canât always do that anymore.
Which I absolutely hate.
Iâve been a mechanic since I was 16. Itâs literally all Iâve ever known.
I spent years fighting to be taught, fighting to be taken seriously and constantly proving I knew what I was doing because I was a girl.
So I worked harder, became stubborn as hell and built my own business.
Full Throttle isnât just where I go to work. Itâs basically my entire life.
So when I forget to reply to someone or miss a phone call, I donât think âIâm literally undergoing treatment for Stage 4 cancer, maybe I should give myself a break.â
I immediately think Iâve let someone down.
And lately that feeling has been eating me alive a bit.
So I guess the whole point of this novel đ is just to sayâŚ
Iâm sorry if Iâve been hard to get hold of.
Iâm sorry if youâve had to message me more than once or Iâve said Iâll call and completely forgotten.
Iâm not ignoring you.
I donât think your car isnât important and I absolutely donât take anyoneâs support or business for granted.
Iâm just trying to run a workshop, fix cars, answer phones, do paperwork, go to appointments, have blood tests, get injections, deal with treatment side effects and apparently also try to stay alive đ
Turns out thatâs quite a lot of s**t to do at once. Who knew đ¤ˇââď¸đ
My brain still thinks I can work at 110% every day.
My body occasionally tells me to get absolutely stuffed đ
So please, if youâve messaged me and I havenât replied, message me again.
If I said Iâd call and havenât, remind me.
Seriously. Youâre not annoying me.
Iâd rather you message me 3 times than sit there thinking I donât give a s**t, because I genuinely do.
Probably way too much đ
I donât want sympathy and I definitely donât want people treating me like Iâm dying.
Iâm still here.
Iâm still working.
Iâm still fixing cars.
Iâm still swearing at VE Commodores.
Iâm still me.
Iâm just tired sometimes.
And Iâm trying to learn that maybe that has to be okay for now.
To everyone who has been patient with me and continues to support me and Full Throttle⌠thank you.
Seriously.
I probably donât say it enough, but I appreciate you more than you know.
Our team is doing the very best they can to keep things running smoothly when I am not there or rushing off to appointments and scans.
Anyway⌠emotional oversharing finished đđ¤Śââď¸
Back to pretending I can fix every problem in my life with a 10mm socket and excessive amounts of swearing đ§đ
đ Jac