03/14/2026
You need to hear this… healing people pleasing does not feel good at first.
Changing a pattern you’ve had 31 years feels uncomfortable and unknown …the version of you that doesn’t people please isn’t fully formed yet. Your brain tries to pull you back because predictable felt safe to your nervous system. It literally sounds the alarm while you’re trying something new.
What’s helped me not lose my marbles:🙃
🌿 Self-soothing like crazy – since my brain thinks I’m in danger, I have to manually tell it that I’m not. I paint, go to the gym, get sunlight, meditate heavily. Anything that calms my nervous system.
🌿 Creating structure – when my brain feels chaotic, routine helps. Gym at the same time. Simple habits. Small predictable wins so my brain stops freaking out.
🌿 Daydreaming about the life I actually want – I know I don’t want to people please for the rest of my life. At first my daydreams are chaotic (lol) because I’m so used to being silent. But eventually they land on something simple: me speaking up when I’m uncomfortable.
I still feel lost sometimes, but sitting with discomfort isn’t weakness ,it’s rewiring. If you skip this step you’ll revert to comfort that costs authenticity.
We got this. 🌿 Save this for the next time your brain screams “go back.”