Post Round Dump

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FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF HYDRATION:Supercars officials have unveiled a bold new strategy to combat the growing issue o...
06/22/2026

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF HYDRATION:

Supercars officials have unveiled a bold new strategy to combat the growing issue of drivers overheating during hot race weekends: simply give them a Zooper Dooper and a Powerade.

The announcement comes after multiple drivers have struggled with cool suit failures, leaving them battling extreme temperatures inside race cars that effectively turn into $500,000 automotive saunas.

Rather than introducing complicated engineering solutions, Supercars has reportedly decided to take a more “summer sport day” approach.

“Cooling systems are clearly too unreliable,” a insider close to Supercars said.

“So we’re moving to a proven technology used by every Australian child at a weekend cricket match: frozen sugar water and a suspiciously blue sports drink.”

Under the new regulations, every driver will receive:

One Zooper Dooper inserted into the helmet during pit stops and a Powerade bottle taped to the steering wheel.

Engineers have reportedly warned that the solution may not reduce temperatures, but it will “make everyone feel like they’re doing something.”

The FIA has already expressed interest in the concept, with rumours the next generation of Formula 1 race suits will include a built in Zooper Dooper slot.

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF MOTORSPORT RELATED DEJA VU:​The Supercars paddock has been thrown into utter chaos after Trip...
06/22/2026

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF MOTORSPORT RELATED DEJA VU:

​The Supercars paddock has been thrown into utter chaos after Triple Eight Race Engineering proposed a definitely world first strategy for the upcoming rounds: treating the next few events as glorified test sessions for the Finals at the end of the year.

​The groundbreaking concept, which Triple Eight engineers have tentatively codenamed "Operation: CTRL C + V," will see the team aggressively experiment with setups and data gathering while pretending the concept of "planning ahead" is a brand new invention.

​The confusion stems from the fact that Walkinshaw TWG tried the exact same development strategy last year:
A multi month masterclass in edging that allowed the Clayton squad to finish….. the season slightly ahead of Triple Eight than usual.

Recently on a podcast run by his own employee, Triple Eight Team Principal Jamie Whincup famously dismissed the philosophy as “utter nonsense.”

​Meanwhile, sources close to Clayton report that Walkinshaw TWG management took a brief break from replying to crayon eaters to look at a whiteboard, quietly wondering if they can invoice Triple Eight for the concept.

​At the time of writing, the sport's journalists started to grow metaphorical erections due to having actual content to copy paste during the upcoming gap in the Supercars calendar.

According to multiple unconfirmed sources, Post Round Dump can reveal the upcoming Cars movie will see Lightning McQueen...
06/21/2026

According to multiple unconfirmed sources,
Post Round Dump can reveal the upcoming Cars movie will see Lightning McQueen face one of the most terrifying forces in modern motorsport.
Not Chick Hicks.
Not Jackson Storm or the fake ev dude in the 2nd one.
Not even Doc Hudson’s disappointed stare.

It will be Balance of Performance (BOP).

The new film follows McQueen as he attempts to deal with the brutal reality of modern racing:
Being too fast has consequences.

The film will reportedly explore the darker side of motorsport, including technical politics, manufacturer lobbying and the mysterious meetings where a group of people decide who is allowed to be fast this weekend.

Rumours suggest McQueen’s greatest rival won’t be another race car, but a leader of the motorsport governing board who got voted in with a definitely not corrupt 100% voting percentage.

One thing is certain:
The road to the Piston Cup has never been more political.

Ka-chow has entered the world of motorsport governance.



Pixar Pixar's Cars

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF RELIGIOUS MOTORSPORT TRADITIONS:The motorsport world has been thrown into chaos today after C...
06/21/2026

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF RELIGIOUS MOTORSPORT TRADITIONS:
The motorsport world has been thrown into chaos today after Chaz Mostert’s Toyota Supra produced a significant amount of white smoke, accidentally triggering the ancient process used to elect a new Pope.

Sources close to Walkinshaw TWG initially believed the car had suffered a mechanical issue, before officials noticed the smoke plume looked “far too holy” and began investigating.
Moments later, thousands of fans reportedly started chanting “Habemus Papam” as the Supra was declared the newest religious authority in motorsport.

Vatican officials have confirmed they were not involved in the appointment, but admitted the smoke was “a strong enough performance to warrant investigation.”

The Supra is now expected to begin its new role immediately, replacing traditional ceremonies with V8 powered hymns.




Walkinshaw TWG Racing
Chaz Mostert 🦟

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF BACK CRACK:Chiropractors across America have reportedly entered “high alert” ahead of the upc...
06/18/2026

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF BACK CRACK:

Chiropractors across America have reportedly entered “high alert” ahead of the upcoming NASCAR San Diego street race, with medical professionals preparing for what could be the largest collection of sore necks since the French revolution.
The warning comes after drivers inspected the new street circuit, with several reportedly describing the surface as “less of a race track and more of a air base shaped rollercoaster.”

Sources close to the event claim teams have already begun packing extra ice packs, massage guns, and whatever the motorsport equivalent of a wheat bag is.
One chiropractor said the weekend could create a “generational opportunity” for the industry.
“Normally we see people with bad posture from sitting at a desk all day,” the chiropractor explained.
“This weekend we’re expecting 40 drivers who have spent three hours being shaken around like a protein shaker full of human bones.”

NASCAR officials have defended the circuit, stating that the bumps are simply part of the challenge of street racing.

Drivers, however, remain concerned after reports suggested the track contains enough surface changes to make some cars briefly question their life choices.
“I’m not worried about the racing,” one driver said.
“I’m worried about getting out of the car and paying the overpriced chriopactor to click my back on Monday.”

Chiropractors have reportedly cancelled holidays, hired extra staff, and stocked up on clicking noises ahead of the race.

NASCAR


A POST ROUND DUMP SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:After careful consideration, Post Round Dump has made the difficult decision to s...
06/17/2026

A POST ROUND DUMP SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT:

After careful consideration, Post Round Dump has made the difficult decision to stop making fun of Aston Martin's motorsport activities.

Not because we’ve run out of material.

Not because we’ve suddenly developed morals.

But because at this point, it’s getting uncomfortable.

Imagine spending billions of dollars buying an F1 team to help your son win a championship, only for the return on investment to be worse than a bloke putting half his pay packet through the pokies every Friday night.

Aston Martin went from being the team everyone thought would challenge Red Bull to looking like a group project where nobody knows who was meant to do the PowerPoint.

The jokes were funny at first.

Then they became concerning.

Now we’re just checking on Fernando and leaving flowers outside the factory.

And somehow the WEC team has joined the support group.

We wish Aston Martin all the best in their recovery.

Because eventually you stop laughing and start wondering if the green cars need a welfare check.

ITS FINALLY BLOODY Supercars RACE WEEK!Still on the fence?Let Toasty Trev remind you about why you should watch the Darw...
06/15/2026

ITS FINALLY BLOODY Supercars RACE WEEK!

Still on the fence?
Let Toasty Trev remind you about why you should watch the Darwin Triple Crown this weekend.

Darwin Supercars

Post Round Dump has once again uncovered a major motorsport secret after obtaining leaked plans for Queensland Raceway’s...
06/15/2026

Post Round Dump has once again uncovered a major motorsport secret after obtaining leaked plans for Queensland Raceway’s rumoured track extension.

The leaked CAD file, believed to have come from deep inside the Queensland Raceway bathrooms, shows the new circuit layout featuring a solid and girthy new addition to the famous Ipswich venue.

Sources close to the project claim the extension was designed to “improve flow, add more length, and create a much more pleasurable experience.”

The new layout has already received strong support from fans, with many saying Queensland Raceway has finally delivered what everyone has been asking for:

“More length.”

One fan said the extension was exactly what the track needed.

“Queensland Raceway has spent years being told it needed to get longer, and they’ve finally listened. Its been a long time coming”

Post Round Dump understands the extension will officially be named The Johnson Extension, in honour of Australian motorsport legend Dick Johnson.

Several drivers are reportedly excited to experience the new layout, with one admitting:

“Dealing with the Johnson Extension for the first time will be difficult, but I’m sure once we get our hands on it, we’ll eventually end up on top of the Johnson Extension.”

Queensland Raceway officials have refused to comment on the leak, but one source inside the circuit said:

“We’re confident the Johnson Extension will leave everyone satisfied."

-Toasty Trev

Queensland Raceway

Do you think our Supercars ratings are complete nonsense and feel you can do better?Prove it!Link in comments
06/14/2026

Do you think our Supercars ratings are complete nonsense and feel you can do better?

Prove it!

Link in comments

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF MOTORSPORT BASED UPPERS:The global copium market has reportedly experienced a sudden downturn...
06/14/2026

FROM THE PRD DEPARTMENT OF MOTORSPORT BASED UPPERS:
The global copium market has reportedly experienced a sudden downturn following a rare period of emotional stability among Ferrari supporters at the Barcelona-Catalunya Grand Prix.
After weeks of intense demand driven by Le Mans heartbreak and fluctuating Formula 1 fortunes, suppliers confirmed orders from tifosi fans dropped significantly over the weekend.

“It’s unusual,” said one distributor. “We’re used to Ferrari fans operating at consistently high emotional volatility. But Spain was… calm. Almost suspiciously calm.”
Analysts describe the Barcelona-Catalunya Grand Prix as a “stabilisation event”, where Ferrari supporters were briefly able to watch a race without immediately requiring psychological recovery products.

One tifosi member confirmed the reduced need for coping supplies.
“I didn’t even open the emergency stash,” he said. “I just watched the race, nodded a few times, and went on with my day. It felt wrong.”
Economists have warned that prolonged stability in Ferrari fandom could have wider implications for the niche but lucrative copium export industry, which typically sees spikes following strategic confusion, late-race heartbreak, or unexpected hope.

“Ferrari is usually a high performance emotional market,” said one analyst. “Spain was like a stock trading day where nothing collapsed. That’s unsettling in its own way.”
Despite the downturn, suppliers remain confident demand will rebound quickly.
“Ferrari fans don’t stay calm for long,” said one vendor. “There’s always another weekend.”

At time of publication, the market was already showing early signs of recovery after a strategist was heard discussing pit strategies.

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